For six longs years I have known your name.
I cannot say we have become friends because friendship should never feel like this.
I’m not sure how I feel about you,
Are you honour or are you just pain?
You twist around my chest pulling tight until i can barely breathe.
It’s as if with every twist you are reminding me of my beautiful daughter.
Honestly dear grief I could never forget.
You are there in the deep ache of my soul,
The missing beat of my heart.
You are the empty place at my table,
The missing smile from my photographs.
From the moment I awake to the second I fall asleep you come to visit.
You often invade my dreams torturing me with broken promises.
Livvy comes so close only to just fall out of my reach.
How do I describe you Dear grief?
I think I know you so well but honestly I don’t know you at all.
You throw the hardest curveball i know, spinning my heart on a axis.
You shoot arrows straight to my heart, with shots Robin hood would be proud of.
Breaking my soul, my resolve, piece by piece.
So do I describe you as pain?
I truly don’t know.
You have me twisting and turning with indecision.
I feel as if I’m standing on the edge of a cliff,
Ready to fall into the abyss of missing.
So are you really pain or are you love?
A love that is eternal.
Are you simply the missing of beautiful Livvy?
The ache so deep that only she can fill.
Are you here to honour her?
Dear Grief, I do not know the answers.
All i know for sure is that you and I will spend a lifetime together.
That you will always be in every beat of my heart.
In my every breathe.
We are entwined until that precious moment.
That wondrous promised moment
When my arms will hold her again.
Then I will say goodbye.
Farewell dear grief
Hello my Olivia.
*This was written to link up with Kate Motaung and her link up Letters to grief. Kate has published a ebook and today over at Amazon you can purchase it for 77p. I have read this book with tears flowing down my face. It is truly beautiful and so worth a read.